201624

Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always."

"Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says ""Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"""

"What is black and knocking on the window from the inside? A baby in the oven."

"What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute!"

"The barman says 'I'm sorry we don't serve time travelers.' A time traveler walks into a bar..."

"My parents taught me how to walk and talk Now all they want me to do is sit down and be quiet."

"50 condoms A guy at the convenience store asked the cashier for 50 condoms. Two girls in line behind him started snickering, so he turned around, looked them dead in the eyes, and said, ""Make it 52!"""

"Scientists have reached the conclusion that the owl has the most acute sense of hearing They clearly haven't experimented on men browsing porn while their wives are asleep."

"Unless you're telling me how to skip it in the future, your voicemail greeting wastes my time."

"whats the deal with shemales? you don't call them she, and they're not male"