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Joke of the Day
"Unless you're telling me how to skip it in the future, your voicemail greeting wastes my time."
Next Joke
"I like my coffee like I like my men. Sweet and delicious and makes me feel awesome at first but then I feel like shit and end up sitting on the toilet regretting my life choices."
"What do you call an angry black man? Typical. What do you call an angry white man? Active shooter."
"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four it'd be a sedan."
"I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking."
"Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride"
"I want my funeral to be 20 consecutive moments of silence followed by a first-time bugler playing taps."
"Who are the fastest readers? 9/11 victims- 100 storeys in 10 seconds"
"Because the unspeakable can also happen to men I bought myself a rape alarm. I'll be fucked if this thing doesn't work."
"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? (LONG) Damn."