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Joke of the Day

"My parents taught me how to walk and talk Now all they want me to do is sit down and be quiet."

"Believe it or not, my wife and I were actually matched on Tinder. We'd been married for 12 years."

"A rope walks into a bar And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter."

"I was very disappointed to have to pay for my new roof. The builder had promised me it would be on the house."

"I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she's been googling my name last night on her computer. I saw it clearly through my binoculars."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his kids? Because he's black."

"During an inspection of the federal penitentiary, I saw a bald inmate beat up a warden. I guess the warden was hit by a Smooth Criminal."

"It's impossible to beat God in gymnastics. He always wins the all-around."

"What makes the Jewish Monopoly game so much harder than the original? Because the banker starts with all the money and never gives it away."

"If you're driving a Porsche in traffic I'm not letting you in because life already let you in enough."