201108

Joke of the Day

"As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime."

"I just got a job crushing cans... It's soda-pressing."

"Really the only way to look cool eating a salad is to shoot it into your mouth with a crossbow."

"Great gift for Trump supporters: Place a bar of soap in their Christmas stocking and beat them with it after they fall asleep"

"*makes sure kids are asleep* *walks out to car* *slowly unwraps candy bar* *hears knock on window* *puts head down* *hands it to them*"

"The main reason Santa is so jovial is cuz he knows where all the bad girls live."

"Dear parents with unattended children they will be given 4 red bulls and a kazoo"

"Bet you didn't notice the the word the' has been said twice. "

"Accidentally fell asleep at my grandmas funeral Wouldn't you know, I woke up with mourningwood."

"What makes a pun, fun? Add an h."