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Joke of the Day

"I just got a job crushing cans... It's soda-pressing."

"The sheer terror of laughing at a joke you didn't understand and then someone asking you to explain it to them."

"A black guy walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender looks at him and says, ""That thing is really cool! Where did you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""Detroit"""

"why did the lobster refuse to help anyone else? because he's shellfish"

"""just do it"" Nike is sponsoring a probation program. They provide T-shirts with the slogan "" just DON'T do it"""

"I'm at an age where ""getting lucky"" only means I have the house to myself..."

"whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i'm doing god's work"

"I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery... I've had it up to here with them."

"I was just diagnosed with a severe lack of empathy. But I'm gonna keep going strong! The last thing I will do is start feeling sorry for myself."

"10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend: 1. Truthful 2. Intelligent 3. Gentle 4. Humble 5. Tolerant 6. Polite 7. Understanding 8. Sexy 9. Smart 10. Young In short:- T.I.G.H.T.P.U.S.S.Y"