71169

Joke of the Day

"Accidentally fell asleep at my grandmas funeral Wouldn't you know, I woke up with mourningwood."

"What wine pairs best with this bomb-ass Nokia ringtone"

"The Riddler always struck me as the Batman villain most likely to have been a pickup artist."

"How do you make a rave party in Africa? You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling."

"My life. Best joke I know!"

"I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests. I said to him, ""Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"" He replied, ""Which one?"" I responded, ""The composer."""

"What does David Bowie get at the supermarket? Can-cer"

"Someone really has to have a serious talk with birds about their pooping habits Do they really think we're gonna let that shit fly?"

"What happens if you don't keep up payments to your exorcist? You get repossessed."

"How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!"