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Joke of the Day

"Really the only way to look cool eating a salad is to shoot it into your mouth with a crossbow."

"How are 4chan and Tumblr alike? They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting"

"What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love? Yeah you like that you dirty pore?"

"Women on their period always ovary act. *insert pun here*"

"How do Emo kids reward themselves? Gold Scars. I'll see myself out."

"What's worse than a lobster on your piano? Crabs on your organ."

"Wheelchair tax The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it."

"Geophysics Joke That argument is so weak, it can still be measured on the Richter Scale! Randomly popped into my head while watching an earthquake documentary."

"What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war? Morgan."

"My girlfriend used to do flashy shows on a chair for me. It was electrical."