201024

Joke of the Day

"Mary and Joseph watch the 3 wise men leave M: I can't believe they went off the registry. J: I know! Even the son of god needs burp cloths."

"What do you call a Spaniard kissing a door? A Conquistador!"

"Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous"

"""Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?"" ""Because its a gas planet son"""

"Voting booths are like brothels You have to decide which ass you want."

"Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets."

"What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!"

"Why is a bulimic's favorite restaurant KFC? Cause it comes with a bucket."

"My cat is an artist He drew blood"

"Proud of myself. I only ate 1 brownie today. I mean, it was cut up into 8 very large pieces and took up the whole pan but yeah, 1 brownie."