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Joke of the Day

"Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous"

"Watching Benjamin Button. Never gets old."

"If I get married, I'd take my wife to a deserted island on our honeymoon. On our 15th anniversary, I'd return to pick her up. Maybe."

"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A Meowntain"

"How many defensive coordinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. You can't fit a hairless ten-year-old inside a light bulb."

"What do you call a Spanish matador who is not very good at his job? I'd say he's fairly incapa**bull**."

"Why is reddit so liberal? Because upvotes are to the left"

"How do you organize a party in space? You Planet"

"Hulk Hogan walks into a tanning salon and drops a saddle on the counter. ""Make me look like this brother!"""