200927

Joke of the Day

"Why is titty fucking a girl the most romantic way to make love? Because it's when you're closest to her heart."

"My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in... I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself."

"My Gf asked me How many times I jerked off I told her I only tried it a handful of times"

"Earth is indeed bipolar, but it's not a disorder."

"what's Forrest Gump's password 1forrest1"

"Always be yourself, unless you can be a giraffe. Then, be a giraffe."

"Waiter, there's an I in my team"

"Why won't Malia and Sasha Obama's classmates gossip about them? Because they know their father can read their emails."

"It looks like bathroom tai chi but it's me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser."

"How far away is the US Army's website? Just a few klicks away."