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Joke of the Day

"Why won't Malia and Sasha Obama's classmates gossip about them? Because they know their father can read their emails."

"Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate? It made it easier to deal with high C's"

"Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours."

"If my name was Richard I would become a professional photographer and call my company Dick Pics"

"""If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily"

"The Middle Ages Queen: Babe come to bed its late. King: Not until I can come up with a cool name for my soldiers! Queen: k night. King: holy shit you're a genius!"

"Does anyone use question marks properly anymore."

"<joke> ""Punchline"" is not an internal or external command. Attempting a continue... C:\Windows\System32\ taskkill /IM joke.exe </joke>"

"Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going? Motorist: No you're the one with the radar."

"Last night my wife said that our bed had seen better days. She's right. When she stopped at her mum's last week, I had a threesome in it on Monday and Tuesday."