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Joke of the Day

"What did the caught fish say to the fisherman in the net? Well man it's been reel."

"My date spent all night telling me that she loved Bad Boys - Then seemed disappointed when we got back to mine and I put the DVD on."

"...a dentist on a toothpaste commercial with stethoscope around neck..., if my dentist started to listen to my heart I would freak out."

"Why did they have to put Michael Jackson down? Because he couldn't race anymore!"

"Guy discovers Terrorist Hideout.. Reporter: So how did you catch 'em? Guy: Umm.. I just found this Charizard then..."

"Patron: Waiter why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies."

"excuse me, waitress? ""I'm not a waitress"" Oh, what are you then ""Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"""

"It's no superpower but I'm pretty good at winding down my car window without moving my arm so it looks like I have power windows."

"The other day, my girlfriend called me dumb for saying that toasters can swim. She was right, I am dumb. When I dropped it in her bath, it sank to the bottom."

"I still see some of my ex-girlfriends. Well, not so much see, more like...watch."