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Joke of the Day

"The other day, my girlfriend called me dumb for saying that toasters can swim. She was right, I am dumb. When I dropped it in her bath, it sank to the bottom."

"You know who I hate the most? Indian givers. No wait, I take that back."

"Putin Sends New Year's Message of Peace To Obama Inside a pipe bomb."

"Mother: What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write? Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!"

"What do you call a dog with no tongue? Dirty bollocks"

"Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children."

"What's the difference between someone who doesn't use their turn signal and Hitler? You know Hitler will turn Reich."

"The New York Giants."

"What does a WoW player with tubercolosis say when he ends a conversation? TBC"

"Nobody claims to like cancer when they're first diagonosed But after a while, it tends to grow on you."