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Joke of the Day

"Guy discovers Terrorist Hideout.. Reporter: So how did you catch 'em? Guy: Umm.. I just found this Charizard then..."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea."

"My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning."

"A white couple doesn't just simply 'have a baby' without posting a pic of them showing her growing gut every day for 9 months."

"*repeatedly tries to explain Sisyphus to classmates who have apparently never heard of him* I wish you guys could get how ironic this is."

"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."

"My favourite 6,835"

"What do lesbians use to get on top of a building? A scissor lift."

"""Y'ever wonder why the TARDIS is square on the outside but round on the inside?"" *SuperCuts lady finishes my haircut without another word*"

"Today is Short Girl Appreciation Day... (NSFW) and I don't get it. I appreciate short girls every day; sometimes twice!"