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Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's favorite letter?"

"If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car then it would perform illegal operations and crash."

"Offer: free guitar No strings attached"

"You wanna hear a Dad joke? Well, I don't have any kids yet so you're gonna have to ask someone else!"

"I started a band called 999 megabytes.... ...we have yet to secure a gig."

"*sees guy having a heart attack* me: quick somebody push a cookie in his mouth! person: isn't that for diabetics? me: it's what I would want"

"The only time honesty isn't the best policy is when speaking to an Apple employee at the Genius Bar."

"What do you get when you cross a judge and a potato? A Dicktater."

"What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician? I can't see you anymore."

"Mechanics How can you tell a mechanic has just had sex? One of his fingers is clean...."