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Joke of the Day

"The only time honesty isn't the best policy is when speaking to an Apple employee at the Genius Bar."

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"*wakes up early on weekend *makes 12 pancakes *wakes kids up ""Daddy, can we have waffles today???"" *eats 12 pancakes"
"whats the difference between Court and Supreme Court? Supreme Court comes with sour cream and guac."
"What happened to all the pokemon GO jokes? I guess people have made the ""switch"" to another fad."
"How's anal like your first car? (x-post from r/funny) You don't really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. (From Dark Humor on FB)"
"""Scolding a cat after it does something wrong has been proven ineffective"" - cats"
"Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails? He thought it would be a pedicure. ^^^sorry."
"Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don't do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!"
"Today, I saw a painting unveiled at a museum, but it was merely a red dot on canvas. It must have been a period piece."
"What political party entices most Gorillas? The Treepublican Party!"