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Joke of the Day

"IF UR DATING SOMEONE AND THEY GIVE YOU GOOSEBUMPS BUT THEY DON'T GIVE YOU FRIES WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER?"

"Dentistry is the perfect profession for people who like to talk but don't want a response"

"So, let me get this straight. You boast that you shagged my Mum, and I'm supposed to get you a Fathers Day card to say 'thanks'?"

"I'm thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there's this thing called Google now."

"me: remember how i was talking about getting a xylophone [doctor holds up my x-ray] where the hell are your ribs? me: im trying to tell you"

"A guy got run over by the PopeMobile yesterday. I guess he didn't see the sign that said ""Cross traffic does not stop."""

"What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam? ""Look ma, no hands!"""

"Last night my wife said to me, ""What would you do without me?"" Apparently, ""Your sister"" was the wrong answer."

"My family has a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. Runs in our jeans"

"Why do Ninjas always wear black? The skilled ones don't."