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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there's this thing called Google now."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean"

"I love the people in parking lots with ""free kittens"" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn't be oppressed."

"So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its ""back"", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?"

"Boy to Friend: I'm sorry I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework."

"It is so cold that Bill Clinton is sleeping with his own wife to keep warm!"

"What diagnosis did the veterinarian give to the dog with the funny walk? The dog has cerebral pawlsy."

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees ? they are really good at it"

"I put two pairs of cargo pants in my cargo pants pockets, just in case I need more cargo pants."

"What did the man say when he stopped piggybacking his fat friend? ""Man, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!"""