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Joke of the Day

"After 2 million years in existence, the pinky finger reveals its true purpose: supporting the bottom of our phones."

"There are marriages that end well... ...and others that last forever."

"Is this your resume? ""Yep"" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away ""Oh yes"" Welcome to UPS!"

"Has anyone out there tried ""Starbucks"" coffee? It's really good. I think that they have a location in LA."

"I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO"

"Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane? He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale."

"ME: Did you hear Jack & Cindy got divorced and he's dating someone half his age? HUB: Yep. He's livin the dream ME: HUB: His dream not mine"

"I went to a strawberry picking competition the other day, a woman with no arms and legs won it. Jammy cunt."

"What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church."

"A boiled egg in the morning... is hard to beat."