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Joke of the Day

"What's the Difference between Jam and Jelly? What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass. Inspiration taken from How I Met Your Mother :)"

"[playing pictionary] Her: A circle..a ring...a diamond ring...a diamond engagement ring...OMG YES I'LL MARRY YOU! Him: Its a door knocker."

"A reporter told the police that someone hacked his computer and removed the first line of every story. There are no ledes."

"Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive ""rincoln towncah""."

"What are some really stupid jokes? One I know is this: Spanish teacher: Kids, what is the ellos/ellas form of the verb sacar? Students: Sacan? Spanish teacher: SACAN DEEZ NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I met Michael J Fox yesterday... I was going to shake his hand but remembered it does that on its own."

"NSFW: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In the loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there."

"""Be right there! I just need to rip my lovely real eyebrows out & draw shitty fake ones in their place."" -Thousands of women"

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."

"Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, ""Do you sell fish cakes here?"" Bartender: No we don't. Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday."