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Joke of the Day

"Why don't lions eat clowns? Because they taste funny"

"What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?......... Both stream instantly."

"If you love somebody... Let them go. If they come back, no one wanted them."

"A man asked me how easy it was to contract HIV... I handed him an address and told him to stop by after dusk with a casque of Cognac and ask for the Honeybadger."

"how do you know when a computer geek likes you? he looks at your feet instead of his own..."

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."

"The fattest man in Britain has sadly died. Cremation will be held at 12PM on Wednesday..... and Thursday..... and Friday."

"Wife: ""I'm tired of you endlessly misquoting Arnold Schwarzenegger films. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""You'll be back."""

"What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow and gargle."

"Heard this in an Indian soap opera.. Boy: Are you from England? Girl: Yeah! How'd you know? Boy: You are so beautiful, I just thought."