92041

Joke of the Day

"The first rule of fight club is to ask her, ""Is that what you're wearing?"""

"-Where is your wife ? -In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little."

"Some parents count to 10 to get their kids to behave. I use a similar technique where I string out crime scene tape and fire up a chainsaw."

"Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face-off in the corner."

"All the jokes about iPhone 6S are just slightly improved jokes about iPhone 6."

"What did the closed can say to the half opened can? YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY!"

"I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him? I don't really know. I've heard it growling it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite? That's what I want to find out."

"What does idk stand for? Literally everyone I ask doesn't know."

"Autocorrect just changed 'so thirsty' to 'sloth irate' and I'm slowly getting angry about it."

"Yo mama so old.. when she was young the hottest boygroup was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John."