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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a laughing mayonnaise? lmayo ahh"

"I like extremes. I want a nerd, but he's gotta be an extreme nerd. Like I don't even want to understand what he's talking about."

"What's the coldest part of a man's body? His balls. Two below."

"i dont swirl my wine because im sophisticated i do it because i can barely stand"

"I'm taking a vacation before I start a new job. I asked my girlfriend if she'd like to drive through Manitoba along the Hudson Bay to Rankin Inlet. She told me she was having Nunavut."

"Jokes are sort of like Middle Eastern policies. Some are decent, but it's really the execution that counts."

"Papa Johns delivered to the World Trade Center on 9/11... They were 2 large plains."

"My DR sent me a text. I read; ""What blod type are you?"" I replied ""Typo""."

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."

"You guys hear about the guy who was addicted to rohypnol (Roofies)? He'd been on 'em longer than he could remember..."