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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"Pencil Me In Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day? Girl: Yes, February 14th."

"I often say to myself, ""I can't believe that cloning machine worked."""

"In Canada we don't have cars. we just float around on apology clouds and nobody ever gets sad or dies."

"What do the NBA and the presidential election have in common? There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!"

"A Bar joke A Socialist jew, a misandrist woman, a Canadian and a Toupee walk into a Bar. One walks out the President of America."

"Enable location? Seriously, Twitter? Have you met some of these folks?"

"Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius."

"Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond."

"Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."