203154

Joke of the Day

"Michael Cera, too timid to send his food back even though he's allergic to almonds, eats a meal and politely goes into anaphylactic shock."

Next Joke
 
"I wish my best friend would leave his cheating whore of a wife. Then I wouldn't feel so guilty for sleeping with her all the time."
"You hear that asshole talking shit behind my back? I farted."
"Judge: Guilty Me: Sayyoudidwhat. Judge: What did you say? Me: Judge? Did you just reverse my sentence? *Stage dives into cheering jury*"
"How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hehe... 'screw' Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one."
"What's faster than a black man with your TV? His son with your DVD player! I mean no racism in this joke*"
"TIFU by sleeping with my boss I should be getting a promotion any day now."
"Two condoms walk into a gay bar. One condom says to the other ""hey man, let's get shitfaced."""
"I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses... Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!"
"My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt"