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Joke of the Day

"I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes"

"Teachers are sometimes like an alarm clock. They won't shut up when you're trying to sleep."

"Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!"

"My girlfriend asked if I was Happy to be fair, she always gets us dwarves confused"

"This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks. I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it."

"I don't support gun rights... I like my killing to be more personal than that."

"Fleetwood Mac Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again. They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks."

"Oh I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood. This is a Ferrets wheel. When your compartment is 90 feet in the air, we release the ferrets."

"I'm at my most insecure when asked if I want to save changes made to a document when I am sure I did not make any changes at all."

"Einstein walks into a bar The bartender says ""Run, everyone! It's a zombie!"""