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Joke of the Day

"Fleetwood Mac Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again. They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? (NSFW) At least a zit waits you're a teenage boy before it cums on your face."

"Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep fucking me."

"If a 92 year old woman hooks up with a seventy five year old man. She's no longer considered a couger. That's a saber tooth."

"BMW What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard. ^Someone ^please ^slap ^me. ^EDIT: ^Even ^better, ^this ^was ^a ^shower ^thought ^too..."

"Would a charming vampire be a neck-romancer?"

"What's grey and comes in pints? An Elephant."

"Xbox One down! PS4 Down! Get an ambulance! Wii U! Wii U! Wii U!"

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones."