199960

Joke of the Day

"Rhonda Rousey is starring in a remake of Roadhouse. Now I won't feel weird jerking off to that movie."

"What do a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal"

"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."

"ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me"

"Why did the melon have commitment issues? Because he cantaloupe"

"Having Gay parents is the worst. You either get double the amount of Dad Jokes or stuck in an infinite loop of ""Go ask your mother""."

"Did you hear about the fight in the bathroom? Shit went down"

"A hurricane is like a woman. When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car."

"Did you hear about the new Marty McFly movie... ...Where he travels back in time to become a florist? It's called Back to the Fuschia."

"GF asked me last night ""Do you even know why I like cherry coke??"" ""...because it's so delicious."""