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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new Marty McFly movie... ...Where he travels back in time to become a florist? It's called Back to the Fuschia."

"A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, Madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it? A surname."

"What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance? The clam before the storm!"

"Our 2-year-old is entertaining everyone at the restaurant by screeching like a seagull every fifteen seconds."

"What do you call a Mexican firefighter? Jose"

"I typed ""Cigarettes"" in the search bar and it said ""No Matches"". The universe has spoken."

"Maybe I'm just drunk, but this toilet looks alot like my neighbors car."

"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."

"""Mom, do you have time to play Crazy 8's?"" ""No I'm making dinner, I don't have the time to learn a new game right now."" ""It's not new, it was made in the 1960's"""

"I used to be extremely afraid of hurdles... but I got over it."