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Joke of the Day

"Having Gay parents is the worst. You either get double the amount of Dad Jokes or stuck in an infinite loop of ""Go ask your mother""."

"*touches a turtel* *dies* *touches a plant* *dies* wow mario are u allergic to evreything or wat"

"There must be a special discount store for plumbers... There pants are always 50% off"

"I asked a librarian About some books about Pavlov's dogs and Schroedinger's cat. She said it rings a bell, but doesn't know if it's here or not."

"Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?"

"Baby, you're a firework: You hold my interest for about 15 minutes and scare the shit out of my dog."

"The number of things I feel compelled to sniff before I buy, is slightly embarrassing."

"You hear the one about a geologist that was an alcoholic? He found rock bottom."

"Why did the hipster complain about winter in July? He wanted to do it before it was cool."

"What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block."