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Joke of the Day

"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."

"The Quran is like weed If you burn it you get stoned."

"Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear? A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck."

"I bought what I thought was a Burger King But infact it was just a little Wimpy."

"Why did the butcher get fired? For bringing home the bacon."

"When is Jesse Jackson going to notice how segregated Neopolitan ice cream is?"

"I hear seatbelts save lives! Nope, nevermind, still have cancer."

"Met a hot isis girl Jihad me at hello"

"QUICK! HOW MANY BABY CARROTS CAN A GUY SHOVE UP HIS BUTT BEFORE HE... 12."

"You realize kids in other countries make Air Jordan's and iPhones right? -Me responding poorly to my kid's homemade Father's Day gifts."