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Joke of the Day

"ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me"

"If someone tells you he can swallow a whole coconut... ...let him do it, it means he has complete trust in his anus :d"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 8 and 9 died in a double homicide and 7 is the **prime** suspect."

"What do you call porn with transgender midgets? Micro trans action."

"Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK."

"What do you call a chicken haunting your house? A Poultrygeist!"

"What does Ebola and US police have in common? A high body count of black people"

"Sex is like CPR. Two inches at 100 beats per minute."

"What do you call a 90's sitcom star's inactivated x chromosomes? Roseanne Barr bodies heh"

"I was writing a paper on my grandfather... But had to stop because he was moving so much."