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Joke of the Day

"The hardest part about eating vegetables. What's the hardest part of eating vegetables? The wheelchair. Badum-tss!"

"Someone just caught me picking my nose at a stop light. Had to just cut my losses and run the red light."

"Hm. Not sure whether to scold my son for chasing the cat or thank the cat for excersizing my son..."

"Valve hasn't won yet They're not **tri**-umphant"

"Meteorologist - Be horrible at you job and no one really cares. Pizza Delivery Driver - Be five minutes late and people lose their minds!"

"Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying ""Cute doggie"" and realizing it's their kid"

"It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It'll be me laughing at an inappropriate time."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bush ! Bush who ? Bush your money where your mouth is !"

"""Please go play with your brother. That's basically the reason we had him."""

"bowler hat on a donkey Do you know why it's not recommended to put a bowler hat on a donkey? Because no one likes a smartass..."