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Joke of the Day

"Hm. Not sure whether to scold my son for chasing the cat or thank the cat for excersizing my son..."

"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"

"Google Page 2 The best place to hide a dead body is Google Page2."

"Quit my banking job this morning I lost interest"

"Wearing crocs is like being blown by a dude... It feels great until you look down and realize that you're gay."

"If you were writing a TV show about politics and wrote it w/the storyline of this election people would write it off as unbelievable."

"Yo mama is so fat... that when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Hey, NSA,,,, if you're going to read my posts, would it kill you to like them?"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? addictionary"