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Joke of the Day

"Went to the store without my iPhone. Felt like I traveled back in time. Saw a dinosaur. Realized I actually traveled back in time."

"What if you get to heaven and God is like ""Nah bra you can't get in. Remember when you saw my picture on Facebook and you kept scrolling?"""

"Lawyers Q:is it true you charge eache question 500 bucks? A:yes. what's the second question?"

"Where do geologists go for entertainment? *Rock concerts.*"

"What is a female hockey player's most vivid memory? Her first period on the ice."

"I got a $100 bill tattood on my penis, if the wife wants to blow $100 she doesn't even need to leave the house."

"Did you here about the new zoo? They put a fence around Iowa."

"Why are people in jail always mad? Because they are constantly butt-hurt."

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"

"Who were the world's fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 2 minutes."