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Joke of the Day

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"

"A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, ""yes, you are."""

"Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016 Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision"

"What do you call someone who just had sex with a necrophiliac? Sliad."

"What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture? Cell shading."

"Why dont sharks ... Why don't sharks eat black people? They think it's whale shit"

"How many people do the cops need to kill in order to start a riot? 3/5ths"

"A fireman's pole is a stripper's pole that takes you places."

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Josb"

"Doe A deer, a female deer. Ray A hunter, with a gun."