199331

Joke of the Day

"It's sad old people won't live to see time travel, because how bad do they want to find the jerk who carpeted over this beautiful hardwood?"

"Wanna hear a joke? Two men are about to have a duel and Man #1 tells Man #2 to draw his blade! Well Man #2 takes out some charcoal and papyrus and begins to draw a picture of his sword."

"How's everyone holding up ? It's crazy out there. I've killed at least 15 zombies already !! Why are they all carrying candy ?"

"Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline That was ancient grease"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean? I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face."

"What do you call a really nice sex addict? Compassionate."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable? His wheelchair"

"Why can't horses fix merry go rounds? They'd be terrified"

"Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex? Because the Rabbis got to choose first."

"Wanna hear an Ebola joke? You probably won't get it."