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Joke of the Day

"He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though."

Next Joke
 
"I got a Wu ton... Wu tang futon"
"What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat? Grandpa. :("
"iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack 2017: iPhone 8=no battery 2018: iPhone 9=no screen 2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000"
"""I don't know where you're from. But in this country..."" ""...we're all from America."""
"""WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE MY IPHONE"" - new thing I scream at my kids"
"What was INXS Singer Michael Hutchence's favorite vegetable? The autochoke."
"What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ"
"What comes up but never comes down? Russian Cosmonauts"
"What would my hippie side be doing right now? I already know that"