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Joke of the Day

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."

"This girl tweeted ""You might be ghetto if you bring outside food into the movies."" ...No, you might be stupid if you pay 4.99 for Skittles."

"An English man, an Irish man, and a Scots man walk into a pub. They head to the bar and the bartender says, ""what is this, some kind of joke?!"""

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"How does a south central chicken cross the road? ... In a bucket"

"How do you sink a polish ship? you put it in the water"

"what do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? a dictator."

"As I'm getting older I find that I'm using my glasses more When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle"

"What did the officials say whenever systematic punishment was banned? There's no punchline."

"Something went wrong .. ha ha A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""