199015

Joke of the Day

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."

"Waiting for the bus joke A girl calls her boyfriend: ""Where are you??"" ""I'm waiting for the bus!"" ""Hurry!!!"" ""Ok honey, I'll wait faster!"""

"I just found a jar in the fridge, with expiry date 21/12/2012. I looked at it twice, and indeed, it was mayannaise!"

"What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable."

"What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache."

"When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue."

"Know who I really admire? Stephen Hawkins. He is confined to a wheelchair, cannot use his limbs or his voice... ...yet he carries on without making a song and dance about it."

"I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company... My girlfriend recently dumped me and this ""No Tears"" stuff isn't working at all."

"Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep but once a month it's shark week."