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Joke of the Day

"As I'm getting older I find that I'm using my glasses more When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle"

"Why didn't they just call ""Ant-Man"" Uncle? Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show."

"I think Lance Armstrong is missing a huge opportunity by not endorsing Uni-ball pens."

"What was the lonely chemist looking for? AgF"

"Are there any medium rappers? They're always big or lil"

"How many beans are in Irish Chili? 239, because if there was 1 more it would be ""Too Farty""."

"Why did my ex gf Fav my tweet where I announced that I got laid off. Why did you do that sharon"

"My friend David had his ID stolen So now I just call him Dav."

"Saw that Poland just won the country's first gold metal.... they were so happy, they had it bronzed!"

"My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid."