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Joke of the Day

"The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days."

"is that a banana in your pocket or oh cool yeah good source of potassium."

"I haven't been drunk in so long, I almost forgot what it's like to love everyone."

"What happens to a tipped cow? They can't MOOve"

"if you have a dirty lift raft... does it make it a dingy dingy?"

"Do you like Christmas? Then why don't you merry it?"

"What did Khloe Kardashian do for a vegetable? Broke up with James Harden"

"What has a bottom at the top? Your legs."

"I went to a zoo the other day... All the exhibits were completely empty, except for one dog; it was a shihtzu"

"He died doing what he loved most... Correcting my grammar."