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Joke of the Day

"Why are Asian students so smart? Because they keep trying to take Engrish classes but end up in Engineering."

"if someone else is in the picture with you why do some people still call it a ""selfie""?....that's a ""groupie"""

"Lying on the hammock while my wife does yard work. Don't know exactly what she's planting but the hole she dug is slightly bigger than me."

"You only live once, so don't forget to spend 16 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers."

"I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall."

"Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweatereveryone thought she was Planet Earth"

"What has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"Those glasses really do make you look more dignified. Respectacles"

"Everyone at this party is talking like a pilot.. ...they all keep saying they have to take off in the morning."

"Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though."