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Joke of the Day

"Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though."

"I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing ""Danger Zone"" six times in a row... ...they told me I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts"

"Who him? Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS."

"A man walks into a bar and asks for a Jack & Coke The bartender asks, ""Is Pepsi fine?"" The man says yes. The bartender then pours Pepsi & Coke in a glass."

"I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I'm in."

"Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose? WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy."

"Why isn't the guy who wrote ""Danger Zone"" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media? He forgot his Loggins"

"4 queers walk into a biker bar..... One was an Indian One was a construction worker One was a cop and the Other was a Cowboy. Biker Says: ""is the YMCA closed?"""

"What's the turnover rate for pornstars? 100%"

"I noticed my wife was reading a book that was titled ""The Silent Wife"". I immediately asked ""That's fiction, right?"""