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Joke of the Day

"I don't try to be awesome, awesome tries to be me."

"What did the bolt say to the nut? ""Washer? I don't even know 'er!"""

"What do communists put in their soup? Soviet Onions."

"What do you call a guy having phone sex? Hard of hearing"

"I didn't see my face anywhere as a kid... ...then I realised it was right under my nose the whole time!"

"I, for one, completely agree with Hitler's plan... ...to kill himself. ____________________________________ Besides, if it wasn't for Hitler, who else would we compare our enemies to?"

"Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks."

"I love my 6 pack abs so much that I protect them with a thick layer of fat."

"My Father was never proud of me One day he asked me, ""how old are you."" I said, ""I'm five"" he said,""when I was your age, I was six"""

"Q: ""What has an IQ of 42?"" A: ""40 Marines plus their lieutenant"""