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Joke of the Day
"What's your stance on public intoxication? Mine is very wobbly."
Next Joke
"Why do fish always have c-sections? Because they can't have land sections"
"Let's stop listing pagers on that list of electronic devices that should be turned off."
"How To Ride An Escalator: -Step 1 -Now Just Chill for a Bit"
"In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes. You know - comic relief."
"I've lost all ability to feel... I'm numb.... I'm starting to slip away... I look forward to the empty, meaningless void Now pull the damn tooth, Doctor"
"Whats the funniest joke you know? You."
"My wife cried when I bought her a car... It was a Saab."
"Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young."
"I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised."