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Joke of the Day

"People on Facebook Nowadays: *Clicks pic while sipping coffee* *Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am* WTF?"

"What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas? Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!"

"I ate some crickets last night. Gave me the runs."

"If someone's embarrassed just tell them an astronaut did the same thing. For example, ""It's ok, Buzz Aldren once shit himself in an Arby's"""

"My dad always told me to watch out for number one... ... he bites."

"[1st ppl to go camping] wife: what do u wanna do this week? hubs: luxury cruise? w: no h: nice hotel? w: no h: pretend to be homeless w: YES"

"What's the coolest kind of surgery? Hip surgery."

"Want to Read a Bad Joke? A bad joke."

"What do you call a drunken Muslim? Mohammered"

"Two fish are high on heroin playing basketball ""Oh man"", says one fish. The other fish replies, ""What, you hooked?"" He says ""All net."""