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Joke of the Day
"How is a photon like an abandoned church? They have no mass."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment the drug dealer charges you extra for the briefcase."
"Me and my girlfriend were on a cruise, listening to Bob Marley. She said he was Upboat."
"Saw a picture of Justin Bieber on a horse. It looked as natural as sauerkraut on a bean bag chair."
"What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a light bulb!"
"Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet"
"4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja."
"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome"
"My paper aeroplane won't fly. It's completely stationery."
"Last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tied the knot in a small intimiate ceremony attended by 20 of their closest children."