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Joke of the Day

"I was going to say a necrophilia joke... But it died... So fuck it...."

"Our family's annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I'm stringing the lights wrong."

"I've noticed you keep tiny pictures of family members in your wallet. Nice, I didn't know you played. I'm looking to trade my Nana card."

"How do you make a Scottish omelette?"

"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."

"Why does the Pope only eat munchkins? Cause they're the holy part of the donut!"

"If a woman that likes younger men is called a cougar... Then a man that likes little boy is called a nittany tiger."

"If 5 black slaves had sex... Is it considered a threesome? I'm going to hell for this."

"I have a really annoying joke but first you will need to take a deep breath and blink hard... Ha, now you are conscious of your breathing and blinking."

"Wait, you didn't let me finish. What I was trying to say is Hitler was largely misunderstood by people who don't speak German."