198317

Joke of the Day

"Did you here about that concert where the frontman flung his crap into the crowd? The shit reeeeeeally hit the fan"

"TIL if you type your password for all to see it gets censored. Look: 1337Penis Edit: GOD DANG IT"

"When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke. How do you know when you're a bad comedian?"

"'100% Yes!' '1000% Yes!!' '1,000,000% Yes!!!' I wish the X Factor judges would stop trying to top each other... and just top themselves."

"Q: Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? A: Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Twitter's new ""local"" feature tells me that ""goodmorning"" and ""nowthatsghetto"" are trending here in Washington. Wow. This is a game-changer."

"I guess this is why they don't let kids be lawyers You just know one would've gotten Jared off."

"[Zoo, bird show] ""Millions of years of evolution have made these ancient raptors into graceful sky gods."" *bird headbutts window 50 times*"

"I wanted to get a Papa John's slice this weekend, but my girlfriend wouldn't want to go there So I referred to it at PJ's and she was all about it until we arrived. Got my slice though."

"When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age."