197822
Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend told me, ""I wanna smash!"" We played smash bros from 12 to 12!"
Next Joke
"""Mommy when I grow up, I want to be a shoe"" -straight up killin' it at this parenting thing"
"[lightbulb store] owner: ""what watt can i get you?"" me: owner: me: owner: ""did i stutter?"" me: ""i dont know"""
"What does a sick train say? Achoo Achoo!"
"My dentist kept telling me i have too much acid in my diet. So I told him he has too much fire on his head."
"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"
"Tiger Woods is the most overrated athlete in the history. In almost all matches he was sub-par."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Barbie Brain in a Jar ...an empty jar"
"Is your dad retarded? Because you're something special"
"I'd rather my kid bring home head lice than another goddamn fundraising form."